Continuing my reading of tales of terror and Gothic fiction generally, I just stumbled through Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary. Here are a few favourite entries:
OVERWORK, n. A dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
PEACE, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting
VALOR, n. A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler’s hope.
“Why have you halted?” roared the commander of a division and Chickamauga, who had ordered a charge; “move forward, sir, at once.”
“General,” said the commander of the delinquent brigade, “I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.”but best of all is:
EXILE … An English sea-captain being asked if he had read “The Exile of Erin,” replied: “No, sir, but I should like to anchor on it.” Years afterwards, when he had been hanged as a pirate after a career of unparalleled atrocities, the following memorandum was found in the ship’s log that he had kept at the time of his reply:
Aug. 3d, 1842. Made a joke on the ex-Isle of Erin. Coldly
received. War with the whole world!
It’s available online at several places including here or do as I do [TOP TIP!] download the free ePub version from Project Gutenberg and add it to your free Adobe Digital Reader software. Run that on your laptop/netbook, fridge, and you can read full screen books in a much nicer format than usual, and save money not buying a specialised eReader from Sony or Amazon.
I’ve lined up a few ghost stories and tales of the supernatural to read on the laptop:
- Algernon Blackwood’s The Willows, which I’ve already read once;
- a bit of Lord Dunsany which I tried once before and could not get to grips with and
- William Hope Hodgson’s Nightlands, which also has a peculiar and dense writing style
I’m going to seek out some more Vernon Lee too.